So i always thought those girls who did the back and forth game with their ex boyfriends were dumb, stupid, and should just learn that if they didnt love you the first time, they sure as hell arent going to love you the second time around. That you may THINK theyre going to change, that they DO in fact love you, that they have changed for the better and that they are going to be there for you when times are rough, in reality, its all just a big fat lie. Well maybe not completely a lie, i dont feel like you can have a relationship with someone and then when you breakup to totally lose feelings for the other person and not care at all about them. And i guess thats where this whole idea of make up break up comes from. Someone, girl or guy, is always hoping that their other (girl or guy), is finally realizing that theyre the one for you. And for the most part, they dont, theyre just to weak to tell you to your face that its over. Hell, i thought that my boyfriend had a "temporary lapse and that he didnt know what he was doing and that it would never happen again", i mean thats what he said right? and why would he lie to me? why would he try to get back together if he really didnt want to be with me. and i guess the answer is.. well.. wouldnt i love to give you the answer? but unfortunatly there is no answer to the rules of love.
then there comes to the question of Love. The big "L" word. What makes it so special, how can some people use it so callously, just throw it around to people who care about them. "i love you" what does it mean exactly. Is there acutally a thing that is really love? i mean i do believe in friendship love, in family love, but in romantic love? is there such a thing? or is it just a giant ploy to sell things, an illusion placed upon people to make them want more from their loved ones. I suppose there are some cases of finding that one guy or girl who is going to be there for you the rest of your life, i mean you see the old couples walking down the street holding hands and opening the door for him, and it gives you hope that maybe that could be YOU someday. but in reality, is life more like the movie "he's really not that into you" i mean i saw it, yes the outcome for the most part ended in a happily ever after, but do you really think theres that one person out there that was meant for you, and at what point do you stop waiting around for Mr. Right and just go with whatevers there in front of you.
and that leads me to the topic of rebounds. In One Tree Hill, the mom says "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else", now, this doesnt sound like the smartest idea to me but it does have some thought put into it. maybe not to have sex with the "rebound guy" but i think one of the hardest things of breaking up with someone and getting over them is the fact that you have to face the fact that they arent going to be there for you, that there isnt someone to "pick you up" and to make you laugh with that special smile reserved for them, to flirt with, to cheer you up, to cuddle with you when your feeling down, to get you away from the crazyness and to generally be there for you. No one to share the inside jokes with, to create new inside jokes with, and of course the physical being of being with someone. No one to make out with, to make you feel sexy or beautiful, or to make you feel happy in that special way. I think in essence this is the reason for the "rebound guy" when your single, you dont realize what you dont have, you fill those voids with friends, friends to make you laugh, create inside jokes with, checkout boys with, to cheer you up. But its the physical things you cant have back, the making out, cuddling, boosting your self esteem, and thats where the "rebound" comes in. Theyre the guy, or girl, that makes you feel that way again, that is able to show you that you are attractive, that they are there for you and if you let them, the physical side of things. I always wondered why girls pingponged from guy to guy, why they could never stay single for long, and i thought they were just weak. That they didnt have enough self control or they just craved having that type attention so much they couldnt live without it. But thats when i realized, you can have all the friends in the world, all the boyfriends in the world, but if you cant find what makes you happy, what kind of guy you want to be with, what types of things work for you and what doesnt, you will forever be searching for something you cant have. Because you dont know what you need.
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